{"id":911,"date":"2020-06-19T08:51:07","date_gmt":"2020-06-19T08:51:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mac.org.my\/v4\/?p=911"},"modified":"2023-03-24T01:08:46","modified_gmt":"2023-03-24T01:08:46","slug":"facing-hiv-aids-together","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mac.org.my\/v4\/facing-hiv-aids-together\/","title":{"rendered":"Facing HIV\/AIDS Together"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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The journey with HIV\/AIDS can be lonely for some. There are those who are shunned by family and friends. Others are luckier when they have the love and support of loved ones.<\/p>

Andrew Tan, who has been living with HIV since 1994, is one of the lucky ones. The activist, in fact, has spoken on multiple occasions about the support his mother and family have given him.<\/p>

But there is another person that Andrew has, in the recent past, spoken about publicly. His partner Reuben Kiew.<\/p>

Reuben has been with Andrew every step of the way. That\u2019s 31 years, to be exact.<\/p>

He first mentioned Reuben during a speech he made at the opening session of the International AIDS Society conference in Kuala Lumpur in 2013. It was a huge leap. To talk not only about his HIV positive status but also coming out in public (in Malaysia, no less) as a gay man.<\/p>

Andrew giggled but firmly said that it was time, to someone who asked whether he was sure he wanted to do it.<\/p>

Flash forward a few years and Andrew is still at it. Educating and creating awareness about HIV\/AIDS. All the time with Reuben by his side.<\/p>

The two are currently attached to the Kuala Lumpur AIDS Support Services Society (KLASS).<\/p>

They first met while working in sister companies where Andrew was attached to the advertising and marketing department while Reuben worked in human resource and administration.<\/p>

Andrew and Reuben have been living together for the past 20 years along with a current family of seven dogs and five cats.<\/p>

\u201cIt is only natural that our relationship has progressed to this point. It is a lot of hard work,\u201d says Reuben.<\/p>

\u201cIt may be a gay relationship but the way I look at it, it is like any marriage that lasts.\u201d<\/p>

To which Andrew says: \u201cWe have been together for so long. We are like an old married couple.\u201d<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Andrew<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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He remembers that things started when they used to lunch together with other colleagues and the two \u201cgravitated towards each other.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cPretty soon, people got used to seeing us going for lunch,\u201d he says.<\/p>

The 57-year-old also recalls a company trip that both of them went on to Penang where three people had to share a room. It was raining heavily. He and Reuben talked for hours on the balcony. Andrew remembers thinking that Reuben was nice and hoped there would be something more between them.<\/p>

\u201cThen when it came time to sleep, it was set up where his feet was facing my head. He turned his pillow around so this would not happen. And I thought it was really considerate of him.\u201d<\/p>

Once their relationship blossomed, it was normal for Andrew to have dinner with his family and then head over to Reuben\u2019s home.<\/p>

Soon, Reuben was attending family gatherings where to this day, he still receives ang pow from elders in the family.<\/p>

Andrew was diagnosed after bouts of fever saw him admitted into hospital. Doctors thought it was a viral infection and tested him for various illnesses. They couldn\u2019t figure out what was wrong with him until Andrew asked what hadn\u2019t they tested for and was told HIV. He told them to test for that.<\/p>

\u201cThere was definitely no pre-test counselling,\u201d he says adding that doctors discharged him upon him being diagnosed as positive. He didn\u2019t seek treatment for the illness until much later.<\/p>

Reuben, in the meantime, tested negative.<\/p>

\u201cI thought it was me against the world and even told Reuben that he was free to go. But he said he wanted to stay. So, I said, \u2018Okay-lah\u2019,\u201d he says.<\/p>

Living with HIV has not been easy especially in the beginning when there were so many pills to pop on top of having to pay a bomb for it. It cost RM2,000 a month for a regime that had him taking 20 tablets between eight and 12 hours a day. Some had to be crushed and dissolved in water to be taken an hour before meals. That was the challenge of adherence then.<\/p>

\u201cI had to sell my apartment to buy my meds,\u201d he says.<\/p>

The cost of medication slowly went down especially when the government started subsidising treatment including giving first line treatment for free.<\/p>

These days, Andrew likes to joke that he is taking more medication for \u201cold age\u201d diseases like high cholesterol \u2013 something he never thought would happen to him.<\/p>

Of his advocacy work, he says that their work at KLASS was all about starting a movement to ensure that people received the care they needed besides helping them achieve communal viral load suppression.<\/p>

\u201cIt remains a challenge because we need to change people\u2019s mindset,\u201d he says.<\/p>

\u201cThe key to survival is acceptance by the people who mean the world to us.\u201d<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Reuben<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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He remembers the time when Andrew had bouts of fever and was in hospital after his mother returned from a trip and insisted on Andrew being admitted upon seeing his condition.<\/p>

Desperate to get him better, Reuben even \u201csmuggled\u201d in a Chinese sinseh (medicine woman) to treat Andrew and says that Andrew managed to sleep through the night because the fever had been broken.<\/p>

\u201cWhen he was diagnosed, I wasn\u2019t sure what HIV was. Was he going to die? He had already lost so much weight because he couldn\u2019t eat,\u201d says the 60-year-old.<\/p>

\u201cBut looking back, there wasn\u2019t any reason to call it off. I am not the type to shrug away in times of adversity. I said, \u2018Let\u2019s go through this together\u2019.\u201d<\/p>

He also remembers feeling very helpless at the time as he didn\u2019t know much about the disease.<\/p>

\u201cYou were also seeing a person that you knew before the sickness, deteriorate in front of you and you don\u2019t know what to do to make it better,\u201d he adds.<\/p>

These days, however, Reuben says he isn\u2019t as scared as he used to be when Andrew falls sick. \u201cWe know we have it under control,\u201d he says.<\/p>

Reuben adds about how he was accepted by Andrew\u2019s family by default to the point where a seat is always reserved for him at family weddings or gatherings.<\/p>

Reuben has continued to educate himself on the disease and has moved from helping to sell knickknacks at booths as a volunteer to being programme manager for KLASS MSM pilot project, aptly named Let Us Walk With You (LUWWY).<\/p>

The project, which began in 2015 helps MSM access community-friendly prevention, testing, treatment and care services.<\/p>

KLASS together with Intan Life Zone in Johor Bahru are two non-governmental organisations under the pilot project funded by the Global Fund for AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria via the MAC. Outreach is conducted via social media platforms and mobile apps.<\/p>

He also talks with pride at how Andrew has transitioned to being someone who can stand on an international stage and speak.<\/p>

\u201cIt is empowering. He has come a long way,\u201d he adds.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The journey with HIV\/AIDS can be lonely for some. There are those who are shunned by family and friends. Others are luckier when they have the love and support of loved ones. Andrew Tan, who has been living with HIV since 1994, is one of the lucky ones. The activist, in fact, has spoken on… Read More »Facing HIV\/AIDS Together<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":16,"featured_media":588,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"neve_meta_sidebar":"","neve_meta_container":"","neve_meta_enable_content_width":"","neve_meta_content_width":0,"neve_meta_title_alignment":"","neve_meta_author_avatar":"","neve_post_elements_order":"","neve_meta_disable_header":"","neve_meta_disable_footer":"","neve_meta_disable_title":"","neve_meta_reading_time":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-911","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-personal-stories"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/mac.org.my\/v4\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/A-froce-banner-2.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mac.org.my\/v4\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/911","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mac.org.my\/v4\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mac.org.my\/v4\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mac.org.my\/v4\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/16"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mac.org.my\/v4\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=911"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/mac.org.my\/v4\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/911\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3577,"href":"https:\/\/mac.org.my\/v4\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/911\/revisions\/3577"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mac.org.my\/v4\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/588"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mac.org.my\/v4\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=911"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mac.org.my\/v4\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=911"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mac.org.my\/v4\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=911"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}